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 Where does the time go?
 

So.. it has been 20 years since I had graduated high school. And tomorrow night is the mixer before the reunion. I cannot attend the reunion so thought it would be cool to go out and have a few drinks with my friends and hang out there.
I went to be an hour ago.. and toss and turned wondering how everyone has changed and all of the old memories.. some were fun, some you may regret..and or I think who cares.. I haven't seen most of these people in 20 years. But ya know it does matter because now that it is almost 12:30 A.M. I am sitting at the computer writing in my blog as my paint is drying on my nails and my hair is in the process of being colored. Yea.. crazy huh. But I waited till the last minute.. and I want to look good.. I usually do.. but it's always nice to have the touches up to par.
So... the anxiety until I'm there will keep me awake I'm sure.
20 years... time just flies by. Truly amazing to me on how one day we are all kids in high school and then next parents.. married.. and so on.
Posted by Sheil at 12:31 AM - 1 Comment   Add a Comment  
 

 Just life.. and thoughts
 

Everyone is there own person
And you would think given you live your own life
You would expect life to be a certain way.

I have been through a lot in my life.
From happiness to sadness
People you love in your life
the next day gone forever...
To a place you always tell people they are better off when ill.
But yet it kills you inside you can never see them again.
And then your selfish and would want them here with you then to feel no pain and always at peace.

Your left alone and to cope and deal with things that they leave behind, a spouse, children and maybe even parents.
Then life is different and your in charge
then things happen.. life goes on.. the good or the bad

And you can't deal, you have no one to turn to that you trust
No one to know how you feel or there to be your strength and shoulder.

But for whatever comes my way... I feel I'm truly alone.
Scared, lonely at times feeling helpless.
Not knowing right from wrong it may seem but not in a childish way.

I don't know right from left
I can't seem to move on with what life gives me
I don't know what I did in a past life to deserve all the terrible in this one.

I know deep down, I sound selfish and may even be that. I know in the world there is more terrible things then what is in mine. But can never get over the life experiences of my own.

I don't want to be selfish...
Nor lonely and scared.
I want to be in control of who and what goes on in my life.
Lost is one word I would sum myself up as.
I want to be found and put on the right path.

Posted by Sheil at 9:48 PM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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  About Me
Author: Sheil
From New York, USA
Age: 39
 
This blog is about...
My thoughts and feelings, and to breathe easy again. Life, love and writings.
 
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